a diamond is for some

To many, engagement rings and diamonds are synonymous, but this isn't the only opinion. For a variety of reasons, some people seek a different stone. I am a firm believer that no option is better than the other. The most important thing is going with what you and your partner prefer.

It is true that diamonds are traditional, and this is meaningful for many people. If the tradition of a diamond is significant for you, then go with your heart. Hey, marriage is also pretty traditional right? The link between diamonds and engagement did start with an epic 1930s ad campaign from DeBeers; merely an interesting fact to some, others feel diamonds are less about romance and more about marketing.

It is also true that they are the hardest available stone, and this is an important consideration when buying a stone meant to last a lifetime of daily wear (but other stones are plenty hard enough for engagement ring status).

Some people bring up globally conscious issues, as the environmental and human factors involved in mining diamonds are questioned. However, it is possible to get a conflict-free diamond or a lab-created diamond to assuage some of these concerns.

If these things aren't a concern for you, diamonds are of course gorgeous, and will match just about anything. However there is another serious consideration: price. The cost of a quality diamond is significant. This is something you need to ask yourself about your own priorities: what do you and your partner think is a financial priority? One valid opinion is that an engagement ring is a once-in-a-lifetime, exceptionally meaningful purchase that you will love dearly, wear daily, and even pass down in generations, which justifies a high price. Another valid opinion is that some thousands of dollars could be spent on travel, a down payment, kids, or whatever else and those things are a preferred use of a chunk of change. How you feel is something only you can decide, and don't let anybody guilt you into feeling a different way. It's your ring and your life.

I find it's not always about 'having the money' or not (see Julia Roberts or Meryl Streep with low-key rings), but for many reasons people may have restricted budgets and still want a fabulous ring. If you don't have or care to spend the money on a diamond, there's still plenty of gorgeous out there for you, too.

All that being said, if you want a diamond and it works for you, have at it! On a wedding forum I visit, the fight between diamonds or not gets crazy heated. Remember: it only matters what you chose, not what anyone else chooses. Everyone's reasons and choices are valid for them. Whatever you ring you get, all that matters is that you love it.

chicks love heavy metal bands

For most engagement rings the stone is the star. But just like Mick Jagger, that star needs a great band to make it shine and last a freakishly long time.

Below I’ll break down some popular choices for the metal of the ring setting. Platinum and gold are the most commonly found options and I’ve added an up-and-comer, palladium, which is in the platinum family of metals. (Later I’ll talk about other ultra-tough alternatives and sum everything up...scroll to the bottom for two-second summary)

	Platinum	Palladium	Gold
Color over time	White-silvery grey Retains color	White-silvery grey, a touch darker than platinum Retains color	Yellow, white, or rose White gold fades to yellow
Price	$$$ Expensive, can be 2x gold price or more	$-$$ Affordable, can be equal or slightly more than gold	$ Affordable
Sample price comparision: The same ring (4.5mm band) from one retailer in multiple metals	$845	$396	$407: 18k $303: 14k
Hardness	Hard, but softest of the 3 here. Doesn’t lose metal if scratched, scratches can be professionally polished back to original.	10% harder than platinum, more scratch resistant. Doesn’t lose metal if scratched, scratches can be professionally polished back to original.	Hardest of the 3 here, most scratch resistant. 14k harder than 18k. Can lose metal if scratched
Weight	Heaviest, almost 2x as heavy as gold	Notably lighter than platinum, similar to gold	Notably lighter than platinum, similar to palladium
Sheen over time	Softer shine than gold Develops a patina over time (appealing, aged quality to sheen)	Softer shine than gold Develops a patina over time (appealing, aged quality to sheen)	Most reflective, mirror-like shine No patina, retains shine
Hypoallergenic	Yes	Yes	No (~10% of people allergic to nickel alloys found in gold)
Availability	Less common than gold, but solid availability Virtually every jeweler works with platinum	Less common, fewer available options May not find a jeweler who can work with palladium in some areas	High availability means lots of setting options Virtually every jeweler works with gold

Color is a good first choice to make. (What color jewelry does your future fiancé usually wear?) Yellow gold and rose gold (alloyed with copper) have unique colors and if you’re interested in a warm golden yellow or warm pinkish colored ring, that’s your match.

If you’re interested in light/white toned rings, you have options. Many people like a white setting for diamonds because it won’t reflect any warmth or color into the stones themselves, which are graded on the whiteness of their color. The most common choices are listed above, and honestly they’re all good picks. Platinum is considered the luxury option, while palladium is a great option for those who like the platinum look and properties but want a much lower price tag. It is in the platinum family, and is comparable in its strength, color, and durability, but it weighs much less. (Pro or con, depending who you ask.) Palladium is significantly more affordable than platinum (costing around the same price as gold), and it doesn’t require the maintenance of white gold. A drawback is that is less available. 

White gold is another beautiful, lower cost option for a light colored ring, but white gold is mixed and coated with other metals to impart the color. Its white coating (usually rhodium plating) wears off over time, and white gold rings need to get replated periodically. Some find this needs to be done annually to maintain the light color and prevent uneven fading, and while prices vary can run $40 - 120 a pop. (Some people don’t mind the fade to a more yellow gold.)

        
This first affiliate photo shows a platinum ring, the second is white gold, and the third is palladium. Note they're taken in different light which minimizes the subtle differences, but you can see the colors are very comparable.

Durability of the material is also important to make it last throughout years of daily wear. What’s interesting about platinum and palladium is if they are scratched the material is displaced, rather than scratched off like with gold. You can polish platinum and palladium back to mint without losing any, but gold can lose metal if scratched. 

Silver is a common material for jewelry, but in general its softness makes it a less practical choice for a long-wearing engagement ring. If you’re sporting a valuable stone, you want a setting that can keep it securely in place and a band that won’t tarnish and show wear like silver.

If you need an exceptionally tough ring (maybe your future fiancé is training for American Ninja Warrior), you’ve got extra strong metals out there like titanium and tungsten carbide, as well. The precious metals on the table above are strong enough for regular daily wear, but these two metals can really take a beating. They both have a silvery color and a strength comparable to steel. Titanium is light weight, while tungsten is 4 times heavier than titanium. Tungsten is 90%  heavier than steel while titanium is 43% lighter than steel. Titanium resists salt water damage just in case your future spouse is a pro surfer, and is hypoallergenic. 

Tungsten is the ultimate in hardcore bad-assery. Scratches? Don’t even think about it. In fact, don’t think too much about engraving either because these metals are too tough for that pansy stuff. One tungsten carbide retailer (carbide is the part that makes is shiny) says, “Tungsten Carbide is the only rare and exotic metal that can promise a permanence in polish and finish that will endure until the end of time.” The end of time!

This first ring is tungsten carbide, the second is titanium.

BOTTOM LINE:

Platinum: Heavy, durable, luxury, rare, treasured, low maintenance

Palladium: Newer alternative, much like platinum properties, way cheaper

Gold: Wide availability, multi-color options, affordable, some maintenance

Silver: Pretty but risky due to softness and tarnish, extremely affordable

Titanium: Steel toughness, aluminum weight, long-lasting

Tungsten Carbide: Crazy strong, super heavy, shiny

Great overview from http://www.novelldesignstudio.com/choosing_your_metal/index.php

feel free to think of me as your engagement ring spirit guide.

You’ve found the one! Now it’s time to put a ring on it... but the options are so endless, it can get overwhelming. You want the ring to be the perfect one, too- after all, it’s a huge life commitment! (The beingtogetherforever AND the wearing this ring practically every day.)

I couldn’t turn up a clear, thorough, unbiased, well maintained guide to engagement ring shopping, which sent me all over the place researching varying stones and metals (Things I’d never dreamed of! Sparkly rocks from outerspace!) and browsing an enormous array of styles and cuts (Cushion? Pave? Palladium? What does it all mean!). I created this guide to save you from the hours of searching and reading I did and present one clear, singular source to help you and your honey find the perfect ring that represents YOU (not somebody else’s expectations). 

I know you want to find the perfect ring for your partner, but something tells me most guys don’t have the time, desire, or fortitude to shift through the amount of jewelry info that I did nor browse the volume of proud new engagement ring photos that I’ve seen. Here it is for you on a platter.

And ladies (and ladies proposing to ladies), I’ve got the sparkly magic joy you are looking for. (Or the non-sparkly but amazing token of love that suits you perfectly.) I know many of you want to participate in the ring shopping extravaganza, and this guide is for you, too. You deserve what you truly want! And how will you know what that is until you understand the options? 

(BTW- if it is going to be a surprise, I’ve got tips on pulling it off and choosing a ring she’ll love!)

You will also see how you can save money and still have something gorgeous, maybe even better than you might have imagined! (Hear that, guys? Do not go into debt!)

Whether you want a traditional diamond solitaire or a completely unique engagement ring, I’ve got you covered. 

All right, I know we’ve only known each other for a few minutes, but I feel like I want to spend the rest of your ring shopping with you…will you make me the happiest writer on earth and keep reading?? Yes?! You will!! Okay, let’s start with setting metals…then we’ll get into that whole diamond thing.